do you swallow it in spite?

black day yesterday and the rain poured down
in my half sleep, i could feel drops coming in through the screen and splashing up from the windowsill and landing on my face.
nothing finds its way into this cocoon, not even time. time just swirls around in gusts outside and attempts to shake the place.

i know i know - another can of redbull will fix the blur. i won't even notice it then, right?
i somehow won't have the faintest understanding of how much i fucked up these impossible, completely unique, never-to-occur-again moments, right?
maybe my eyes will vibrate at the same frequency of my idiocy and i wont be able to see it anymore.
or my lack of attention span will help my mind just gently float away from my desire to throttle myself.
jesus fucking christ.

and none of them heard that alarm? right. right!
c-4 is really a better solution, don't you think?
i was right about that too.
don't bother looking back. you might lose an eye. or something more important.

take out... take out my stomach

i need to get out and walk through this place.

np and what should be, but is not, shaking my flimsy walls: the choke (re-grip version) skinny puppy
you should really be listening to assimilate (r23)

so in sin sear

(this is where you pretend to be him and ask me if i need any toilet paper.)

i would give my hearing for this. easily. just feeling the air pushed into and out of my lungs was worth more than that alone.