i am hole again.

higher higher.
rough day back being ground into minced meat for pies. reality is always more harsh than i remember it.
they keep me in the dark here, literally, and i hate it, viscerally.

when i come back i always wonder why until i'm deep under again.
i really need to develop a drug addiction. a different one.

other than that, c. and i have reconnected again and again and the air seems lighter and it's much easier to smile in our little home. i think he expected my hair to grow back while i was gone for some reason.

there's a lot of after-work work that needs to be done so i can get my new camera. i also need to actually read my contract to see if i can start a new project with family that's much more interesting that anything here.

i believe you can see the future too, trent.

a brainwashed hum.
pain.